Give me cake!!!

I’m warning you now; this post is going to be a gripe, a rant, an explosion of frustration. I’m sorry. Really. I can’t help it, nor can I stop myself. So, if you want to get out now, I totally understand. Can I come with you? I want to get out too; this ride of adulthood isn’t as fun or cute as I thought it would be.

 

I have started a new job. Kinda. It’s like the same thing I was doing before, just on a more widespread scale, with lots more traveling to (hopefully) awesome places that I can share with you. Doesn’t that sounds like fun? I thought so too.

 

But, ugh. The process man. The process is killing me! I mean how many pieces of paper and forms of ID can one person show? I gave you my driver’s license, my passport, my nursing license, and every shred of vaccine documentation that I could possibly come up with since I've entered this crazy crazy world. Now you need my missing social security card too? Gahhh. Feed me cake. Nownownowwww.

 

I just want to work. Is that so crazy? Is that so difficult? I like the routine of working. I need, no crave, the feeling of starting the day with an end goal that amounts to more than going to yoga and making chocolate cake. I know, I know. Poor poor Clarissa.

Also, I like paychecks. Who doesn’t?

Can I go back to South America? Please prettyprettyplease??? Come on! Let’s go. Right. Now!

 

 

And while we're on the way to South America I can tell you all about why I think BACON in DESSERTS is the most amazing thing ever created to mankind. Seriously, hear me out. I know it sounds all kooky crazy, like me whining about going to yoga and making chocolate cake all the time, but seriously, hear me out! When you have an intensely dense and sweet dessert, like say these brownies all trashed up with more chocolate and peanut butter drizzles complete with peanut butter cups, it helps to have something to take that intense edge off. Bacon accomplishes this act quite nicely, as well as adding a nice chewy texture to the brownies. If the bacon really gives you the hibbie-jibbies you could try broken pretzels pieces, but seriously, just trust me on this and try it out!

 

 

Trashed-up Brownies

Serves 8

 

Chocolate Stout Brownies

16 oz Chocolate, chopped and divided

1 cup Stout, like Guinness, divided

1 cup + 2 tbsp Butter, divided

1 tsp Vanilla extract

3 Eggs

1 1/2 cup Sugar

1/2 tsp Salt

3/4 cup Flour

1/2 tsp Espresso or strong coffee

 

1. In a small saucepan simmer the stout until it has concentrated to about half it's original volume, around 1/2 cup. This takes about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.

2. While the beer is simmering, chop the chocolate. Place about 12 ounces of the chocolate in a microwave proof bowl along with 1 cup of butter. Heat for a minute and a half or until the butter and chocolate have melted and combined. Set aside to cool.

3. In a large bowl mix the eggs, sugar, and vanilla until well incorporated. Slowly add the chocolate/butter mixture and 1/4 cup of the reduced beer.

4. Slowly mix in the salt and flour. Pour into a greased 9x9 pan and bake on 350F for about 45 minutes or until a tester comes out clean.

5. Set aside to cool.

 

Chocolate Glaze

 

1. Take the remaining 1/4 cup reduced beer and the remaining 4 ounces of chocolate and place into a small bowl.

2. If the beer has cooled completely then heat up in the microwave until the chocolate has melted. If you find the mixture too runny add more chocolate until a thick glaze forms. Add a dash of vanilla and espresso powder.

 

To Dress the Brownies

1. Chop up 9 mini peanut butter cups into fourths.

2. Cook 4 pieces of bacon until crisp and chop up.

3. Heat up creamy or chunky peanut butter until melted.

4. Spread the chopped up peanut butter cups and bacon on the top of the brownies. Drizzle with the melted peanut butter and then the chocolate glaze.

5. Allow the glaze to set before serving.

6. Enjoy!!